|In the absence of any decent Free-Use images of any of tonight's acts, here's|
a lovely picture of Stonehenge, which has no doubt been the venue for
much rock music over the years.
By Guenter Wieschendahl (own work--eigene Aufnahme)
[Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Will this reduce my enjoyment of tonight's show?
Like heck it will. I like to think that even total deafness couldn't put a dent in my appreciation of what's about to transpire.
And I like to think that, were he here, Dave Lee Travis would agree with me too.
But he's not here.
He's too busy guiding us through the puddles of history.
Those puddles produce their first splash with John Miles bringing his tubetastic brand of groovetasm into our living rooms, for one more spin.
By the looks of him, he's still celebrating the release of Keith Lemon's new movie but I don't care about no dirty stinking movies. I don't need to, not when I have John Miles.
Now John's finished and, in a shock development, Dave tells us the chart rundown's been delayed.
It's just been delayed even more because, in an even shocker development, I've lost my signal.
Can our hero get it back before he misses the entire show?
Too right he can because it's back already.
But I've missed the entire rundown and am confronted by the Brotherhood of Man doing Angelo for what feels like the sixteenth week running.
Suddenly the Man are gone and the Jam are back and as angry as ever.
I don't think I've ever heard this song before but it seems, from what they're singing, that it might be called All Round The World.
Paul and Bruce are trading vocals. It's easy to forget how much more prominent Bruce was in the group's early days than he became later.
It might not have been one of the Jam's more played hits but it certainly livened things up a bit.
Alessi are back.
Seeing them follow the Jam is like watching one of those old public information films where they used to put out a chip pan fire by throwing a damp dishcloth over it.
It suddenly strikes me that they bear an unlikely resemblance to Henry Winkler.
The trouble is, with their tendency to keep glancing across at each other as they sing, it does give the impression they're singing a love song to each other, which is a very strange effect, especially when the main Alessi starts going on about making love together.
A group who never needed a second invitation to make love to each other are Fleetwood Mac who appear as if from nowhere with a song whose title I can't remember.
It's all very pleasant, and undoubtedly quality music, but I could never really get into Fleetwood Mac. I just always wanted them to shout a bit or smash their instruments or just do anything that'd suggest they were fully conscious while playing.
The Rah Band are back.
It's hard to believe that look never caught on.
But now it's Danny Williams with another look I won't be copying down the disco on Friday night.
His name seems to be a composite of ex-Barnsley Football Club manager Danny Wilson and ex-Barnsley comedian Charlie Williams. Clearly the force of Barnsley is strong in this one.
Not that you'd know it, as he seems to have acquired his outfit by mugging Huggy Bear and stealing his clothes.
My razor-sharp senses detect that this is the old Martini advert music.
Queen are back with Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy.
Much more excitingly than that, Donna Summer's powered her way to Number 1.
But she's not in the studio. Instead we get Legs and Co doing their best to capture the untrammelled eroticism that got I Feel Love banned from many a radio station.
To be honest, I'm not sure they're succeeding. There's a limit to how erotic you can seem by flapping a bit of your skirt around in a state of staccato chasteness.
Argh! No! It's tear-your-hair-out-time again, as for the zillionth occasion, Boney M are relegated to the play-out slot.
What was it with the producer never letting the M onto the show? Had Bobby run over his cat or something?
The BBC of 1977 have been warned, if the M aren't allowed on next week's show, quite frankly, I'm not sure I can be held accountable for my actions.